I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
