You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my poor anus
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
