chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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