Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
