I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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