I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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