420 ftw
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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