walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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