i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Green mimosas i think yes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
