i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
