I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
