you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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