is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
