Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
