am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
