So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
