So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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