Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's great music for shaving your balls
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
