If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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