do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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