wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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