Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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