i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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