Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
