I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
