The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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