Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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