singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Mom said you looked used
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
