Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
