This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
