Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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