You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
