why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm way too hungover for life right now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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