Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
