I wish I could punch you in the face.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
