ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
