he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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