remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
