Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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