Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
