I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The Olympian is in my bed
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