He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
