ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
