He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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