...so i touched it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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