Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
