their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
