I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
