when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
