I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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