So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
