Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
bring money and cleavage
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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