Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
