What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
