I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
