so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
bring money and cleavage
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
