Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
