Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
