NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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