Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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