He is an equal opportunity slut.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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