i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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