the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
