Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
